Baked a Cake

Baked a cake.....

March 3, 2014 at 9:49am

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The all important day arrived yesterday... Yes it was my loving son's birthday.... This year we decided to celebrate his birthday later, the reason being his final exams were starting today.... To celebrate  it in a lighter tone we took him to the temple in the morning and then we decided to go out for lunch .... Assuming he can study from the afternoon we decided to do so.....Later in the day I found out anyways it would not have made any difference even if we had gone out in the evening because his preparation time for the exam takes just one hour with four breaks in between..... I wanted to be extra nice to him ... anyways once we sit to start studying we will have a world war 3...

I thought I will bake a cake for him to make him happy and feel special.... The first thing I did in the morning was to bake a cake. After baking it I left it to cool and went to the temple. After coming back from the temple I tilted the cake upside down on a plate and got a full cake without breaking it .... I was happy that it had come out in good shape .... I brought the cake to the table ... made it sit on a tray, got a candle and a knife ...To make it look more presentable I put a few M&Ms on the cake... To me it looked nice and I was praying that it should taste good too .Clicked  a few usual  pictures of the cake before it was dissected , then took a picture of him blowing the candle....Sang the birthday song with our hoarse voices ... then he cut the cake ... when he was cutting the cake I felt he was not able to slide  the knife through it but was trying to cut it through like he was cutting through a piece of meat.... My heart was going dhak dhak thinking how the cake was going to taste... more than the taste what all comments I am going to hear from my dear children.... Again we took a few pictures of feeding him with the cake...His mouth was stuffed with the cake ...Looked like he was finding a little difficult in chewing the cake...I thought I had stuffed a big piece into his mouth... After he tasted the cake I asked him how did the cake taste... His answer was the usual, "It's OK mama"... What do I understand from this??

Then my daughter tasted the cake .... The immediate reaction that came from her was ,"Mama If you had given it to me I would have baked a good cake, it tastes so bad." So according to her scale of measurment the cake got a zero.... There came my son to my rescue... He said, "Sruthi , how many recipe's have you tried making and tasting before you puked on your own creations?"  She gave him a  tigress look and said "That was one time Rishi that I felt like puking after I tried making that pudding". Somewhere down I felt that my son was by my side.... The dad said it tasted good.. I tasted it .. It was not so bad as Sruthi projected it to be... It tasted inbetween a bread and a cake.... Anyways I thought to make myself happy I would ask Rishi one more time... I didn't realize then that I was digging my own grave.... I asked him again "Rishi how did the cake taste?" I could have very well stopped with his double sided answer of "ITs ok Mama". But my over anxiety made me repeat the question ...... Rishi was too sweet a boy that he tried avoiding answering the question again but do you think I would leave ... No  , the mom instinct in me wanted to hear the right answer.... He said very quietly ,"Mama it is not that bad as Sruthi says, It just tastes kind of a little plasticky  and it is tasteless... thats all but I can eat it"... A tight slap on my cheeks right??? This was enough for me to come to a conclusion that I should always get Betty Crocker's readymade mix ,,, bake it and serve it and get the name "mama it was awesome"... Why did I take so much effort to try out new things on his birthday????

As an icing to the cake , when we went out for lunch my daughter asked,"Mama do you think we should get him a nice cake and make him cut it in the evening?" It was my turn to turn into a tigress.......grhhhhh..... then again Rishi came up with "It's ok Sruthi I dont want to do it again... anyways I will have a nice cake when I call my friends to celebrate my birthday party after my exam...right mom??"" By then I had decided that silence is the best answer at times.......

LIKE POLES REPEL

These days when I hear about the mushrooming of divorce cases I feel disturbed  to think about the change in our society. Is this a trend or a fashion or a culture to be followed? Most of the divorces happen within the first few years of marriage. What can we understand about each other in just a few years of marriage? Marriage is a mystery. It is like fishing in the ocean. Sometimes you get a good catch as expected, but some times not as expected. .All you need is an open heart and a good expertise  to make the best out of it.

I came to know that one of my friends's niece had applied for a divorce after three years of marriage. The reason behind it being --"he is not as I expected him to be". She added that she had given three years for him to change but he hadn't changed a bit. How can a person who has lived twenty seven years of his life believing in his own character change all of a sudden in just three years?  Don't you think this is not a valid reason for a divorce, to break up a relationship which is meant to be life long? How easy  could it be if you can change your character instead of insisting your partner to change his or her character as you expect it to be.

These days character analysis is done superficially.One cannot understand the true inner self of another soul totally. You can know about a person only to a certain extent . The true inner self of a person , be it your dad, mom, brother, sister, your own children, husband , friend, anyone for that matter, cannot be fathomed fully. Only the individual will know about his or her's inner self . This being the case how can we judge a person within a few years of marriage? Even after 17 years of married life my husband still does not know what I like and what I don't like, in spite of the fact me listing out my likes and dislikes periodically.  It all turns into a deaf ear. This does not mean that he does not love me.It is just the difference in his  preferences in life. If I also ignore his likes and dislikes then our life would go for a toss.  Giving importance to his wants is my way of showing that I care for him. Yes men are from Mars and women are from Venus!! This doesn't mean that I don't make a big issue of it . Haven't gotten into that stage of maturity yet though!!. I do throw my own style of tantrums .


When young or old we tend  to make friendship with people who have similar characters like ours, who have the same wavelength, same frequency, same voltage. same watts  or name it anything you want it to be. Initially in marriage  when we look for our pair we look for similar traits as ours, we look for compatibility. According to the latest trend you look for same Chemistry, Physics , or what ever.....But sometimes, ironically this doesn't work out.

During the "phase of  love" especially the first few months ,during  the honey moon period everything seems to be musical. Marriage life has many phases like the moon-- so waxing and waning i.e ups and downs are to be expected in the relationship as well. But when the second phase-- marriage comes things turn a zigzag turn and starts sounding like a cracked CD (gramophone is outdated) . When two persons of same dominating characters get married there is a clash of  opinions, ego, individuality etc. etc.because both of them tend to think the same way for good or bad. If we ask our elders they come out with a simple  answer for this. They say that this is the reason why they look for horoscope matching. Does this mean that people who are married according to the astrologer's advice don't go for a divorce?


 I don't think that my daughter would ever agree for this kind of a marriage. Like many others, according to her astrologers cannot decide on who is to marry whom.  Already she has told me that she would get married only to a person whom she gets to know before marriage. I ask  her how much she can  know about a person in few months or years. It takes many many years to understand a person's real self that too only to a certain extent. We can know about them 75% rest 25% we assume we know them thoroughly. And to accept a person the way they are needs a lot of maturity . Now her age doesn't let her accept the truth hidden in  my words. As she grows older she will understand  the reality.All daughters become moms one day.  As of now I am happy that I am in the list of people to be invited for her wedding. She has told us that she will only invite the close relatives for her wedding and that me and her papa are in the list. Hope we are in the topmost of the list!!! Though she is too young to discuss about all this still we do it for some time pass---sometimes we are a crackpot family. I use such opportunities of discussions to inject my thoughts into her brain. Hoping that knowingly or unknowingly some of  my thoughts will be registered in her brain.

 Personally I feel  the younger generation is  so independent financially that they feel there is no need for adjustment between them when there is a discrepancy. When they are of same character they want to prove their own individuality. If for instance both are of adjusting characters(which seldom happens in a marriage) then fine, they will be in cloud nine . But if they  both are like two male lions then think about the war zone effect...Two knives cannot fit in a same sheath---literal translation of the Tamil proverb "ஒரு உறையில் இரு கத்தி இருக்க முடியாது”....This holds good only for a couple where both of them are dominating. Here, like poles repel. This is true  even among any relationships--brothers and  sisters, parents and children....But the difference is with parents, brothers , sisters , children or friends you adjust to withhold the relationship. Or may be there is no choice of divorce with these relationships. At the most you refrain from talking to each other but you don't want to break the relationship legally. Marriage is one relationship you have the choice of breaking the relationship legally , letting the whole world to know about it. May be it is a way to let the world know that you are not in a relationship anymore and that you are open for another relationship.


Sometimes my husband and my daughter argue a lot among themselves. Final report is that they both belong to Mars and have similar characters, that is the reason for their  arguments. Me being the mediator will try to pacify both by asking at least one of them to be quiet. Whether they listen to me or not is another topic for discussion. Between a dad and daughter or a dad and a son or a mom and a daughter the role of a mediator helps a lot. But among couples  I feel we should never have mediators. Both the husband and wife should talk to each other about their own problems and seek solutions within themselves. My mom says a tamil proverb, ”குறவன் சேதி குறத்திக்கு தான் தெரியும்”--which literally means only a gypsy wife will know the true colors of her gypsy husband.... It is better they sort out their problems by talking to each other . Letting a third person in marriage is like adding fuel to the fire. Each one has their own way of communicating ideas.

End of the day it is only the word adjustment which works wonders in marriages.It is one safe, fool proof  medication which we can administer to ourselves without any side effects.  Unless one of them is ready to adjust no one can mend the cracked  path of their marriage. One cannot change another's character, only you can adjust to their character. Where there is true love there should be acceptance of shortcomings too. Time and age makes one  a better person. As you grow older you start understanding the true  person inside. One's fixed opinions change with circumstances and experience.  For this you need ample patience like a crane...

When opposite poles attract, opposite genders attract , when every action has an opposite reaction then why not we accept the fact that life will be interesting to live with a person of opposite character??In such circumstances only life becomes interesting, adventurous, and challenging. Otherwise we will be sailing in a boat which sails only in one particular direction... Let the pill of "adjustment" be prescribed to all the ailing relationships and the disease of divorce which is caused due to the "adamant" virus be contained in our society.

EXPEDITION TO THE FLOWER SHOW

Last week in Times of India newspaper there was this buzz about the flower show in Bangalore.  Sitting at home the whole day my job is to read the paper and find out what interesting event is going on in the city. I read about the flower show and the replica of the Lotus temple which will be made out of flowers. I have never had the chance to visit any flower show. I was very excited to go and see the great show. On Saturday after many arguments everyone agreed we will go for the show.  Even before going my teenage  daughter claimed the show to be "Lame". This is  the feedback given to her by her friends.  What is ever interesting for a teenager I hardly understand.  Very easily everything becomes boring, lame, stupid at that age.  Anything we suggest is taken with a big "huh " and a sigh".  When I hear that sigh I loose my till -then controlled temper. That makes me even more adamant than her to hold on to my views and rules.  So this time I got my way through. My nine year old son had no other choice other than be a jing bang to his beloved sister.  All three of them tried to convince me to go to MG Road. First time in my house the majority did not win. The minority won. Yes, we all decided to go for the show. 

Usually on a Saturday my husband takes a nap after lunch. But last Saturday he sacrificed his sleep so that we can reach the flower show on time. It was in Lal Bagh.  We started around 2.45p.m. I read in the paper that the show will be open from 3p.m. I packed  some snack and water to have in the park.  It was quite sunny.  After driving for fifteen minutes the speed of the car started reducing. Bangalore traffic started to show its real face.  On our way we had to cross a few bridges which were under construction. Indians truly enjoy a lot of freedom while on road. They can drive however they like and where ever they like. No rules needed to be followed.  The liberty on road is amazing --right from humans to cattle everyone can use the road as if it is their private property. Since we have come back to our beautiful motherland after fifteen years we were feeling guilty  to enjoy that liberty. My husband was religiously driving with caution though scolding the intruders on and off. NO use of scolding them because with all the glasses raised and the AC on, what is the use of muttering inside the car when no one is going to hear you other than us? But you need to vent your frustrations right?no matter it reaches the target or not. So we were silent spectators of the happenings.  This is the main reason I don't drive in India. My blood pressure will shoot up if I happen to drive. The vehicles started to move inch by inch.  My son was starting to get restless along with his dad.  My daughter was enjoying her nap.  I couldn't complain because I was the one who suggested the idea of going for the flower show.  It was almost one and half hours and still we were on the road in the middle of nowhere.  The traffic on the opposite direction seemed to be free flowing. Adding fuel to the prevailing condition it started to rain.  Bangalore weather is so unpredictable.  It started raining cats and dogs.  The  traffic became even more slower. We felt cold inside the car with the AC on. So I asked my husband to switch off the AC. After five minutes we started to feel hot because there was no air circulation inside the car. I asked him to switch it on again. This was going on for sometime . After sometime he got frustrated and started to show his anger.  This time who else other than me will be the target? We moved so slowly that it took us almost two and a half hours to reach Lal Bagh.


 At last we reached the venue.  When we reached the place the main entry gate was  closed.  People were coming out through the exit gate.  Since it was raining heavily we were waiting inside the car for the gate to open.  Suddenly we could hear our car number being called out and it was followed by some Kanada words.  When we turned and saw, we saw a police jeep saying something in Kanada.  We lowered the glass and asked what it was. He asked us to move away from the place since we were not supposed to park our car in that spot. We told him that we had come to see the flower show and were waiting for the gate to open.  You know what he told? He told,"Madam flower show closed today because of rain. You go today and come tomorrow 9.a.m."  Yes a big full stop to the purpose of our visit.  There was no board intimating that the show was cancelled.  There were around six to seven cars waiting at the gate.  At least we came to know that it was cancelled through the police officer. Hats off to the tolerance level of our fellow Indians!  We took a U-Turn and started going towards our house.  All through the way my husband was sarcastic in blaming me for the whole episode.  I did not open my mouth so that I won't make him even more irritated.  This time when we were going back the traffic had moved along with us to this side I guess. The other side seemed to be free flowing now.Just like how the grass is always greener on the other side. I couldn't blame anyone other than myself for my bad luck. 

The children did not want to go back home. What else to do in that rain?  This time I just said I would go wherever they went. Now the majority won. Because of the cold weather my son had an urgent call from nature.  We couldn't stop anywhere in the middle.  Then we decided to go to the Forum Mall for using the restroom.  After that the kids  wanted to go to the Landmark bookstore.   I had no other choice other than nod to their wishes.  I just followed the three of them into the bookstore and grabbed a book for myself and started to read.  Though the woman in me wanted to go around the mall for shopping , I kept her under my control and sat there and read. We spent almost one hour in the bookstore and then hunger bell started ringing.  We took the kids to the food court.  I had no mood to eat anything there. I took a few bites from the chat they had ordered.  My mind was wandering around the mall .  After food we decided to head back home .  It took us another one hour plus to reach home due to the heavy traffic. At last we reached home at 9.p.m. I felt we had spent almost six hours without any purpose.  Kids were happy because they got to buy a few books from landmark. How can any shopping be interesting when you get home without any shopping bags.I didn't want to stay home after all this. I wanted to share my experience with someone before I went to sleep. I went to my friend's house and told her the whole story of our expedition to the flower show. After hearing it they asked me "Have you booked your tickets back to Singapore?"  A sensible question to contemplate. There ends our journey to the flower show. Though upsetting we all took it as an experience--a first hand experience of Bangalore traffic and to decide faster about our prolonged stay in India..  At the brighter side we felt happy that we were not living in the hustle and bustle of the city.  Imagine the plight of the people for whom this is an everyday ordeal!! Each experience adds to our perseverance.  Lesson learnt is "Grass is NEVER green on the other side". Jai Hind!