Saturday, November 7, 2015

Wish list

One routine that I have been following for many years is that after taking a shower , I light the lamp in my Pooja room and sit and pray for sometime. Praying mostly includes my list of wishes submitted to the Almighty. I have a growing list of wishes each day. It is as lengthy as my monthly grocery list.  Neither my grocery list nor my wish list to God becomes shorter.

My 5 yr old friend Akshath came to my house the other day. I love playing with small kids and talking to them. It's kind of stress buster for me. Their innocence and naughtiness attracts me towards them.When I asked him how his weekend went, he told me that he went to the temple along with his family. I asked him what did he pray to God. He said," I put my hands together and prayed." I thought he didnt understand my question. So again I repeated. " Ya Akshath I know you prayed but what did you pray for?" Again his innocence spoke for him. He said,"Aunty I put my hands together like this (he showed me how he did it) and prayed." I thought I would frame the question in a different way. Then I went, "Akshath, what did you ask God for?". His head went side to side and he shrugged his shoulders . He said, "Nothing aunty." This struck a lightening in me. I realized that I was trying to get an answer I wished from him. I wanted him to have a wish list like me.

I remembered that even I did the same thing like Akshath till a certain age. As I grew older I started writing a wish list and till now it is endless. When our kids are small we take them to the temple and just ask them to  fall down at the feet of God to get the blessings. . As they grow a little older we teach them how to ask God for things.  And when they grow a little more older they know how to ask for what they want. This is how the wish list starts to evolve. As our responsibilities grow more and more we start adding on to our wish list. It starts with toys, then marks, then gifts, then we pray to God to keep our family safe, then we add our friends, then job, then spouse, then the children, then the grandchildren and health and at last comes that we have a peaceful departure from this world.

. Normally when I see men praying I feel they dont have such a big wish list as women. They stand there for a couple of minutes and move away. Is it because their patience level is less or the wish list has just a few things , or do they just chant mantras and move on? It is a puzzle for me. Why do women spend so much time in prayers? Does it mean we pray for our kith and kin and for the whole humanity without leaving anyone whom we know? I dont think so. Are we too demanding? Are we too greedy? Is it because we take the responsibility of saving everyone through our prayers ?

I too tried like Akshath . For a week I sat in front of God just with my hands held together . I read a few mantras. Inside my mind there was a big turmoil. I felt that I was not conveying God what I wanted to ask for. I thought only if I repeated my wish list God will be kind enough to grant my wishes. I didnt want to skip that ritual of mine. I felt that my prayers were incomplete. So again I went back to the reciting of my wish list. I pity the God for having to listen to my endless wishes.
At the same time I am grateful to God for fulfilling my wishes one at a time. When will the day come when I will stand in front of God  with my hands held together like Akshath and just thank him for all the goodness he has done and is doing for me and not ask for anything... That day will be the day I attain  spiritual maturity .

Monday, November 2, 2015

Auto (C)lick.......

Auto (C)lick.......
The mouse
in my house
no more 
likes to eat the cheese.
It licks the "likes"
where ever it sees....
No cat to chase it away
no hole to hide away...
More it tastes
the "likes",
More sparkles
in everyone's eyes..

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Beauty !!!

Mom was busy with her Saraswati pooja work. All these years she has been trying to imitate and do what all her mom did. Back then it was her duty to always put haldi kumkum on the doors, tv, book shelf, fridge, etc etc.during Saraswati Pooja. (She too used to crib then while doing it). Like wise when she started her own family she followed the same old rituals. Today also she had done her routine. Over then the poojas were done during the day mostly. Here , she has to wait for the office goers and school goers to come home in the evening. Only after that she can do the pooja, almost like doing it before going to sleep.
Rishi came back from school as if he had returned from trekking, with his heavy load of school bag rested on his back.
Rishi: Hi mom.
Mom: Rishi , go and wash your hands, legs and face properly.Change your clothes.Bring your lunch box and put it in the sink and your dirty clothes in the laundry basket.
This is like a stereotyped sentence which mom uses every day without fail. Inspite of doing this for so many years till now she hasnt gotten bored of this ritual. She hasn't even tried to record it and play it instead of wasting her energy every day. She hopes one day her Ramayan will do magic on her son.
Rishi went straight to his room and came immediately: Mamma,(with a strong connotation on "mma") what have to done to my study table? What is that yellow stuff on my table ? It looks so dirty.
Mom: Rishi that is sandal powder. We put this on Saraswati Pooja every year.

Rishi: But, why ?
Mom had no answer for this other than to say "this is how we do in my parent's house." It gives a festive feel .Rishi did you see the rangoli I have done in the front? By the way did you stomp on it ?
Rishi: Yaaa I did see . ( the yaaa was dragged as much as possible to reach the front door). I didnt step on it dont worry.
Mom: How does it look Rishi?
Rishi: Not bad.
Saying so he continued his job of watching tv lying upside down on the couch like a bat.
Mom felt she should not have asked this question to get humiliated like this.
For her, the sandal , haldi , kumkum, flowers, rangoli, all mattered so much in her life. Everytime she did or followed any of the religious or routine rituals at home it brought back to her the old memories .If she had asked her daughter she would have atleast said,"very nice amma or beautiful amma". First and foremost she would have noticed a big spread of colors on the front of the door. At the same time she was thankful to Rishi for not having stepped on it .
A few minutes later Ravi came in saying something. She went to the door and asked "What is it?"
Ravi: Why did you fold the chair which was here? I didnt notice it and was about to sit and fall down.
Mom: couldnt you too notice something on the floor . ( the colors were really vibrant and not to be missed by the eyes.) Or looking at my rangoli and captivated by it did you just didnt notice that there was no chair there?
Ravi : No I just came in and was about to sit and remove my shoes as usual.
It was a plain statement. Like father like son she thought. Not that she will just leave him with this answer. Later she will definetely ask him the same question "How is my rangoli?" Knowing the answer, "good job or just a nod as a sign of acknowledgement or very nice". This is the stereotyped feedback. Still she doesnt give up. As a back up she always takes pictures of her good work and sends it to her parents or friends through whatsap to get appreciation and a few "wows" and few "awesomes". A "feel good" effect . She thanked God that Ravi didnt fall on her rangoli. It was so much of hard work involved. She noticed that one of the edges of the rangoli was stepped on. Immediately she went inside and brought her colors and did the touch up work.

Ironically, The table forever filled with scattered books and things all over became  dirty  just with a few drops of Sandal on it. 
Sum and substance Mom understood one thing. Yes! "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder!!!"

Saturday, October 17, 2015


I have been waiting for this day
for the past eighteen years.
Now it is at my doorstep
but , I am not sure 
whether I should cross and go to the other side of the door.
Last day of being called a child,
Last day I can blame my parents for all my childish mistakes.
Last day I can throw tantrums for no reason and still be forgiven.
Last day I can get any "under eighteen" discounts.
From tomorrow,
I will walk into the world of the adult.
I can drive a car all alone.
I can go to the pub all my myself.
I can get married , and even sign a legal document.
I can be employed legally and walk head high with my pay cheque.
Above all, I can decide what I want to do all my MYSELF.
Will I cherish this new found freedom?
Or , will it be a burden on my shoulders?
Will I start missing my childhood days as everyone does?
Does it mean I will age faster?
Does it mean I have more responsibilities?
Does it mean I have to take care of myself ?
A long way to walk through.
Will it be a maze?
Will I be able to fit in the pieces and solve the puzzle all by MYSELF???
Bye bye childhood , here I come adulthood......