Being the grandparents of 90's generation and
Seeing our children and their way of life,
Can we call ourselves to be lucky or blessed?
We did not run around taking our children class after class.
We never had the necessity for arranging play dates .
We seldom socialised for the sheer need of our kids.
We hardly experienced the pressure of smiling unvoluntarily in birthday parties almost every week.
Neither did our kids bombard us with so many questions nor did we let them do it.
Computer was not a must in our homes so we never worried about " parental supervision on the net".
We made them do what we expected out of them, not let them do what they wanted to do.
We did not break our heads about how to entertain them during holidays--- Doors of relatives were always open.
We never had to worry about the airfare for visiting our dear ones--becos we hardly travelled by air.
Our kids did not experience the peer pressure for dressing, carrying latest gadgets or for holiday venues.
Our houses as well as our ears were soundproof of whining and complaining tones.
Our children did not hang "Enter At Your Own Risk" or "Dare to Enter" sign boards outside their rooms.
We didnot use the plastic cards so our kids knew the value of money.
Our Children's taste buds were alien to burgers,pizzas and chips.
We did not get confused by referring to childhood psychology or parental psychology books for bringing up our kids.(ignorance is a bliss at times)
Above all the real world as well as the cyber world was much much safer than today.
They had the opportunity to experience and enjoy the innocence of childhood.
Do we pity for our children or for our grandchildren?
Forgetting about our joyous childhood days
Who has changed this planet into anti-children?
Who is to be blamed for this?
In the name of independency , dependency on non-living things is being encouraged in our grandchildren.
Who is going to bell the cat??
As you strive to save this planet forget not to "Save Our Grand Children".
Friday, March 26, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
"UTOPIA"
"UTOPIA" -- imaginary place or state of things in which everything is perfect. Can this imaginary place be seen in reality? Yes, it is just near possiblity if only few expectations come true.
Husband says :: My house will be an Utopia-----
If I can sleep whenever I want and as long as I want.
If no one bothers me while I live with my lap-top.
If my kids don't disturb me when I watch tv.(especially when I watch news)
If my wife doesn't ask me to go with her for shopping.
If I am let to eat whatever junk I want and whenever I want.
If I can live in my own house like a paying guest--no responsibilities, no questions to be answered, no arguments, no fights.
If my wife doesn't compare me to other "good husbands".
Above all if my better half keeps her beautiful lips tight intact no matter what I say, what I do.
Won't this be a state of bliss??
-------------------------
Wife says :: My house will be an Utopia-------
If all the things are in place.
If my kids and my husband listen to me at the first call of mine.
If my husband offers to help me without my pleading (begging).
If my kids do their music practice on their own without me pestering them .
If they will clean up their room .
If the sound from the tv and music system wouldn't tear off my eardrums.
If my kids won't fight with eachother.
If everyone in the house will eat the food I cook without any complaints.
If my husband comes home before 7p.m and doesn't touch his laptop.
If my teenage girl doesn't stick her ears to the phone.( thank god flat rate for the land line phone)( mobile phone allowed only on weekends --- there is rationing for texting too thank god for that too.)
If my boy washes his hands and feet after coming from the playground.
If I need not ask hundred times in a day "Have u flushed the toilet clean? Have u left the bathroom clean?" 'Have you put the dirty clothes for wash?"
If they give the computer and tv some rest when they are at home.
The list is endless ....................................
Not because I am expecting too much
Because I am more concerned about my house and family.
You may call me "prejudiced" for this.But this is My Way .
Children say :: Our house will be an Utopia---------------
If we can watch 24 hrs tv, play on the comp.
If we can do only what we want to do and the way we want to do.
If our mom cooks pizzas, burgers, pastas, and noodles everyday.( Say No to Veggies )
If there is a rule "No Studies At Home".
If we have the freedom to bring back the lunch if we don't like it.
If our parents always listen to us and not make us listen to them.(as if we do)
If we can wear whatever clothes we want .
If we can leave things wherever we want to.
If our parents can buy us whatever we ask for.
If there is no same boring lectures from the "professor--parents."
We have many more to go but again our parents will say "you all are spoilt brats." Once again their never ending old stories of "when we were young ......." will start.
Is an "Utopia" in visibility for anyone ? Waiting to know......
Husband says :: My house will be an Utopia-----
If I can sleep whenever I want and as long as I want.
If no one bothers me while I live with my lap-top.
If my kids don't disturb me when I watch tv.(especially when I watch news)
If my wife doesn't ask me to go with her for shopping.
If I am let to eat whatever junk I want and whenever I want.
If I can live in my own house like a paying guest--no responsibilities, no questions to be answered, no arguments, no fights.
If my wife doesn't compare me to other "good husbands".
Above all if my better half keeps her beautiful lips tight intact no matter what I say, what I do.
Won't this be a state of bliss??
-------------------------
Wife says :: My house will be an Utopia-------
If all the things are in place.
If my kids and my husband listen to me at the first call of mine.
If my husband offers to help me without my pleading (begging).
If my kids do their music practice on their own without me pestering them .
If they will clean up their room .
If the sound from the tv and music system wouldn't tear off my eardrums.
If my kids won't fight with eachother.
If everyone in the house will eat the food I cook without any complaints.
If my husband comes home before 7p.m and doesn't touch his laptop.
If my teenage girl doesn't stick her ears to the phone.( thank god flat rate for the land line phone)( mobile phone allowed only on weekends --- there is rationing for texting too thank god for that too.)
If my boy washes his hands and feet after coming from the playground.
If I need not ask hundred times in a day "Have u flushed the toilet clean? Have u left the bathroom clean?" 'Have you put the dirty clothes for wash?"
If they give the computer and tv some rest when they are at home.
The list is endless ....................................
Not because I am expecting too much
Because I am more concerned about my house and family.
You may call me "prejudiced" for this.But this is My Way .
Children say :: Our house will be an Utopia---------------
If we can watch 24 hrs tv, play on the comp.
If we can do only what we want to do and the way we want to do.
If our mom cooks pizzas, burgers, pastas, and noodles everyday.( Say No to Veggies )
If there is a rule "No Studies At Home".
If we have the freedom to bring back the lunch if we don't like it.
If our parents always listen to us and not make us listen to them.(as if we do)
If we can wear whatever clothes we want .
If we can leave things wherever we want to.
If our parents can buy us whatever we ask for.
If there is no same boring lectures from the "professor--parents."
We have many more to go but again our parents will say "you all are spoilt brats." Once again their never ending old stories of "when we were young ......." will start.
Is an "Utopia" in visibility for anyone ? Waiting to know......
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Confessions of a ten year old girl --- made a little late i.e after 30yrs.
It was hot summer in 1980. At that time we didn't have any refrigerator in our house to quench our thirst with cool drinks or ice water. My mom had gotten a nice mud pot to store water. Water stored in mud pots are good for health. It has an earthen flavour added to it. The mud pot was made to sit on some wet sand laid on the floor so that the wetness in the sand helps in maintaining the coolness of the pot. Whenever we used to feel thirsty we used to drink the water from the pot. MMMMM it was heavenly!! Even now after so many years when I think about it I can feel the taste pass through my tongue to my throat. No ice water or mineral water can beat the taste of it. These days I see the improvised version of the mud pots . They come with a tap attached to them . A way to make us lazy so that we need not bend down, open the lid and take water to drink.
Ok,now coming to the point, One day I wanted to get something from the loft in the kitchen. I put a stool next to the mud pot and climbed on top of it . When I was getting down, the stool accidently tilted on the pot slightly. But thank god nothing happened to the pot other than a small crack. It didn't strike my little brain then that a small crack or a big one is the same as far as a mud pot is concerned. The only saving grace is small crack means the water leaks out slowly whereas a big crack makes all the water to seep out in a second. I was happy that the pot didn't break. Later that evening my mom asked me and my sister whether we had broken the pot since water was leaking from it. She had started the investigation I thought. My heart started pounding with fear. I was scared that I would be scolded so I told my mom that I hadn't done anything. My sister also came with the same answer. My mom was so innocent that she strongly believed that her daughters wouldn't lie to her --- belief in her upbringing I guess! I thought "Ok, I am saved ." Since we both were out of her doubt-list her next target was our maid Mary. Mary also told that she hadn't done it. But my mom told, "If nobody has done it does the pot have hands and legs to move around and break on its own. May be, Mary you would have done it when you were filling the pot with water." Though aware of the real truth I pretended not to know anything atall about the pot. When my mom was scolding Mary I just kept quiet. I was guilty but I didn't dare to accept my fault.
If I had admitted the truth I would have been scolded first for breaking the pot and then for hiding it and then for telling lies. After all that, when my dad came home the whole story would have been narrated. And he would start his part of lecturing I thought. Now when I try to discipline my daughter she says "annoying parents with boring lectures". (When I was a kid we could only think about such comments inside our brain. No voicing it out . But now our kids have ultimate freedom to voice their thoughts. May be our tolerance level is much higher than our parents.Three cheers to the new age parents!!) When my dad hit it was more fierceful --u know the force of men.Thats why now when my husband raises his hands to hit my children I try to defend them --- experience speaks. My mom was not that forceful. At the most she used to pull my hair when combing or give one beating on my shoulder. To avoid getting beatings from my dad I decided to play safe. I moved out of the scene. I felt sorry for Mary but what could a ten year old little girl think about other than saving her own back from beatings. Mary tried to explain but it was of no use. Till a new pot was bought everyday there was a talk about the broken pot whenever someone would ask for "pot-water". Though no one knew who the real culprit was, inside I felt guilty.
Years passed . I was in college then. By this time there was a refrigerator in our house. No more pot-water ,it was ice-water now. When one day we were recollecting about the nostalgic memories of childhood I told my mom the real story about the broken pot. She couldn't believe that I could have been such a culprit who lied to her and made another person the scapegoat. She felt sorry for having scolded Mary. I told her that even I felt sorry for making Mary get all the scolding for my mistake. My mom was very much disappointed when I told her the truth. She told me if I could lie for such a trivial matter , what all other things I would have hidden from her. She told that I had broken all her beliefs on me. After a few days we bacame loving mom and loving daughter again. I understood that nothing in this world could ever change the love of a mom for her kids. Atlast my guilt was gone . Though I had forgotten about it, where ever Mary is now she would not have forgotten about it I guess. It took so many years for me to admit the truth.
Coming to the present, just like my mom I too expect my kids to be very truthful to me. I imagine that they don't lie to me and I don't want to accept the fact that as children they say lies out of sheer fear and not with any intention of cheating us . I forget what I had done when I was a kid. I portray myself to them as a disciplined child who always listened to her parents and did only goody goody stuff in her life---Long time memory loss of all the mischiefs I did. I tell them that I used to be a smart girl, sweet girl --all kinds of superlatives added behind my name. Till my children don't bombard me with questions like, "Mama what rank did you get? " Were you the number one in your class? Didn't you fight with your friends? , Didn't you loose things ? Didn't you bring back your lunch? Didn't you even once say a lie? etc. I am safe. But those days are not far away. Forgetting about my childhood mischiefs, rather purposefully trying to black them off , I expect my children to inherit only the best genes from me . I focus only the positive side of me to them. All my drawbacks are hidden inside a drawstring bag.
I feel it is my parental duty to teach them good morals. So I don't even want them to tell me any white lies. I pass on to them the same age-old stories told by my parents about how God will help the parents to find out the truth and about the good books and bad books of God . I try to deprive them of telling a lie and enjoying the moment of escape and relief, though I know they are cleverer than me in hiding the truth ---as in a tamil proverb "hiding a whole pumpkin inside the rice". Me too like my mom feel that if I let them lie to me for smaller things in life then later in their life what all bigger lies they will tell me though I know it is also a survival-defence-technique in life. But my kids deal with my strictness very diplomatically. Anything wrong they do ,they come up with a clever answer "Mama by mistake we did, mama accidently we did". According to them they are not lying , but accepting their mistake in a much dignified way.I am helpless at that moment. Not able to chide them or punish them like how my parents did , I warn them by saying, "ok better don't repeat it next time" . Just trying to be in their shoes with the hope that if I am little bit lenient with them now, then after a few years there won't be any need for them to make late (very late) confessions like me. Extreme talent and imagination is also needed to cook up a lie that others cannot find out. I feel as long as a lie can make others happy and doesn't hurt or affect anyone it is acceptable. If my parents had been more acceptable about this fact may be I would have let the cat out of the bag within a few days instead of carrying the guilt for so many years. Accepting the fact white lies are permissible is better than complete denial to it. As an accepting parent we become more approachable to our kids . So let us for the time being become fans of white-lies club. Sometimes we have to admire the innocent lies they say in the name of defence.
I am making all this confessions with a slight hope that my kids won't read this. In case they do read then I am sure I am digging my own grave because from next time onwards they will come up with new stories to cover up their mistakes. But out there I know there are a few good hearted?? friends waiting to make my kids read this. Even after all this realisation I end this here with age old strong motherly belief and instinct that MY CHILDREN WILL ALWAYS TELL ME THE TRUTH!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ok,now coming to the point, One day I wanted to get something from the loft in the kitchen. I put a stool next to the mud pot and climbed on top of it . When I was getting down, the stool accidently tilted on the pot slightly. But thank god nothing happened to the pot other than a small crack. It didn't strike my little brain then that a small crack or a big one is the same as far as a mud pot is concerned. The only saving grace is small crack means the water leaks out slowly whereas a big crack makes all the water to seep out in a second. I was happy that the pot didn't break. Later that evening my mom asked me and my sister whether we had broken the pot since water was leaking from it. She had started the investigation I thought. My heart started pounding with fear. I was scared that I would be scolded so I told my mom that I hadn't done anything. My sister also came with the same answer. My mom was so innocent that she strongly believed that her daughters wouldn't lie to her --- belief in her upbringing I guess! I thought "Ok, I am saved ." Since we both were out of her doubt-list her next target was our maid Mary. Mary also told that she hadn't done it. But my mom told, "If nobody has done it does the pot have hands and legs to move around and break on its own. May be, Mary you would have done it when you were filling the pot with water." Though aware of the real truth I pretended not to know anything atall about the pot. When my mom was scolding Mary I just kept quiet. I was guilty but I didn't dare to accept my fault.
If I had admitted the truth I would have been scolded first for breaking the pot and then for hiding it and then for telling lies. After all that, when my dad came home the whole story would have been narrated. And he would start his part of lecturing I thought. Now when I try to discipline my daughter she says "annoying parents with boring lectures". (When I was a kid we could only think about such comments inside our brain. No voicing it out . But now our kids have ultimate freedom to voice their thoughts. May be our tolerance level is much higher than our parents.Three cheers to the new age parents!!) When my dad hit it was more fierceful --u know the force of men.Thats why now when my husband raises his hands to hit my children I try to defend them --- experience speaks. My mom was not that forceful. At the most she used to pull my hair when combing or give one beating on my shoulder. To avoid getting beatings from my dad I decided to play safe. I moved out of the scene. I felt sorry for Mary but what could a ten year old little girl think about other than saving her own back from beatings. Mary tried to explain but it was of no use. Till a new pot was bought everyday there was a talk about the broken pot whenever someone would ask for "pot-water". Though no one knew who the real culprit was, inside I felt guilty.
Years passed . I was in college then. By this time there was a refrigerator in our house. No more pot-water ,it was ice-water now. When one day we were recollecting about the nostalgic memories of childhood I told my mom the real story about the broken pot. She couldn't believe that I could have been such a culprit who lied to her and made another person the scapegoat. She felt sorry for having scolded Mary. I told her that even I felt sorry for making Mary get all the scolding for my mistake. My mom was very much disappointed when I told her the truth. She told me if I could lie for such a trivial matter , what all other things I would have hidden from her. She told that I had broken all her beliefs on me. After a few days we bacame loving mom and loving daughter again. I understood that nothing in this world could ever change the love of a mom for her kids. Atlast my guilt was gone . Though I had forgotten about it, where ever Mary is now she would not have forgotten about it I guess. It took so many years for me to admit the truth.
Coming to the present, just like my mom I too expect my kids to be very truthful to me. I imagine that they don't lie to me and I don't want to accept the fact that as children they say lies out of sheer fear and not with any intention of cheating us . I forget what I had done when I was a kid. I portray myself to them as a disciplined child who always listened to her parents and did only goody goody stuff in her life---Long time memory loss of all the mischiefs I did. I tell them that I used to be a smart girl, sweet girl --all kinds of superlatives added behind my name. Till my children don't bombard me with questions like, "Mama what rank did you get? " Were you the number one in your class? Didn't you fight with your friends? , Didn't you loose things ? Didn't you bring back your lunch? Didn't you even once say a lie? etc. I am safe. But those days are not far away. Forgetting about my childhood mischiefs, rather purposefully trying to black them off , I expect my children to inherit only the best genes from me . I focus only the positive side of me to them. All my drawbacks are hidden inside a drawstring bag.
I feel it is my parental duty to teach them good morals. So I don't even want them to tell me any white lies. I pass on to them the same age-old stories told by my parents about how God will help the parents to find out the truth and about the good books and bad books of God . I try to deprive them of telling a lie and enjoying the moment of escape and relief, though I know they are cleverer than me in hiding the truth ---as in a tamil proverb "hiding a whole pumpkin inside the rice". Me too like my mom feel that if I let them lie to me for smaller things in life then later in their life what all bigger lies they will tell me though I know it is also a survival-defence-technique in life. But my kids deal with my strictness very diplomatically. Anything wrong they do ,they come up with a clever answer "Mama by mistake we did, mama accidently we did". According to them they are not lying , but accepting their mistake in a much dignified way.I am helpless at that moment. Not able to chide them or punish them like how my parents did , I warn them by saying, "ok better don't repeat it next time" . Just trying to be in their shoes with the hope that if I am little bit lenient with them now, then after a few years there won't be any need for them to make late (very late) confessions like me. Extreme talent and imagination is also needed to cook up a lie that others cannot find out. I feel as long as a lie can make others happy and doesn't hurt or affect anyone it is acceptable. If my parents had been more acceptable about this fact may be I would have let the cat out of the bag within a few days instead of carrying the guilt for so many years. Accepting the fact white lies are permissible is better than complete denial to it. As an accepting parent we become more approachable to our kids . So let us for the time being become fans of white-lies club. Sometimes we have to admire the innocent lies they say in the name of defence.
I am making all this confessions with a slight hope that my kids won't read this. In case they do read then I am sure I am digging my own grave because from next time onwards they will come up with new stories to cover up their mistakes. But out there I know there are a few good hearted?? friends waiting to make my kids read this. Even after all this realisation I end this here with age old strong motherly belief and instinct that MY CHILDREN WILL ALWAYS TELL ME THE TRUTH!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monday, March 8, 2010
In Search Of a Long Lost Soul
I was ten years old when my dad god transferred to Cuddalore.I joined fifth standard in a school called St.Mary's Matriculation School. New school, new environment . I was clueless about making friends. Just like me was another new girl called Poornima in my class . She was very cute and pretty. Her smile attracted me towards her. She was so chubby and sweet. The smile was the bridge between us for the first few days. Then slowly we talked to each other and became friends. For the first one year it was just that we were friends. When we moved to sixth standard our friendship grew even more stronger and we became best friends. We used to be always together other than the language class , when she went for her Hindi class and I was in my Tamil class. Between us there were no secrets, no gossips. We just enjoyed the innocense of the age by giggling at every damn thing which others would call nonsense. (Now I see the same giggle in my daughter's conversation with her close friend). Those were the sweet nothings which we shared together .
Life was so wonderful till we completed our 8th standard. Both our parents got transferred. I moved to Tanjore and she moved to Trivandrum . We were seperated . At that time we didn't know that we won't be meeting each other after that. We told each other that we will be in contact by writing letters once a week. (Those days we neither had computer to send emails every day nor did we have mobiles. Phone was a luxury then -----these days kids are so lucky they can keep in touch even with their kindergarten friends and mobiles are a must-to-have gadget for them). As promised ,we were in close touch with each other. We used to write letters once a week to each other. From the day I posted my letter I kept waiting for her reply. I remember using postcards, and inland letters. If something very personal then envelopes were used so that no one will know the content inside. Greeting cards for birthdays, deewali, pongal and newyear were a ritual. I used to collect all the cards and letters from her .
Though miles apart we both knew what was going on in each others life. Once I finished my undergraduate I went to Chennai to do my Masters. I stayed in a hostel. Life is a wheel. One day I got a letter from Poornima saying she was visiting Chennai and that she would come to see me. My God!! I just couldn't believe that. I was soooo excited jumping around with the letter in my hand. Then I started thinking how she will be looking because it has been years since we both saw each other. "How will she look in person, Will she recognize me? Will she still like me the way I look now?" because pictures dodge you a lot about the way one looks.So, many questions lined up in my brain. And those days we didn't have digital camera to select the best picture to send to someone. All we could do was just send the picture you had develped from the filmrole.And filmroles were expensive that you have a ration when you take photos-- not hundreds of pictures in different poses as you do now.
I couldn't wait for the day of her arrival.It was a Saturday and no college for me. I got ready early than usual . Dressed up in my best clothes. Wanted to present myself very beautiful infront of her( just an attempt to impress her though I knew about my beauty???) . She came around 11a.m to my hostel. When the security called me to inform that I had a guest I ran to the door to see MY BEST FRIEND. There she was waiting for me with the same branded sweet smile of hers with her hands wide open to hug me. We both hugged each other. I cannot express the happiness I felt that moment. I was flying high in the sky.Thousands of butterflies seemed to fly inside my heart--usually it is the stomach but this time my heart was only fluttering.My heartbeat was hundred times more than the normal. Not even during my exams have I experienced such a rush of blood inside me. She had not changed a lot. She had become quite tall and thin. Her cheeks had a few pimple marks. I too had the same.The only difference was I hadn't grown that much from the time she saw me. I was and I am a shorty till date. No scope of growing hereafter I know. I would be glad if I don't skrink . I wonder how all the complan I drank didn't help me atall . May be if I hadn't drunk that complan I would have been even more shorter. Ok, now let me stop drifting away from my way. Me and Poornima went out that day and had a very nice time. She had come there to attend a function in her relative's house. She invited me for the function which was the next day. I accepted the invitation immediately because I wanted to be just with her those two days. Next day I went to her relative's house. She was waiting for me there. She introduced me to every one in her family. I was feeling a little odd because I was the only outsider in the family . But to make me feel at home she didn't leave me alone for a second . I had a lovely , memorable time. The next day she was to leave. Again I won't be able to see her for how many more years I didnt know.
After I finished my college I went back to Tanjore. Still our letter correspondence contiued. One fine day I got a wedding invitation. Yes it was Poorninma's wedding invitation. She was getting married in Chennai. Wow!! another opportunity for me to see her I thought .More than feeling happy about her wedding I felt happy that I was going to see her. The day of wedding arrived and I was in Chennai to attend it. When I went to the marriage hall my eyes were searching for her. Luckily her sister spotted me and took me to the room where Poornima was. During the whole wedding process I was sitting just behind her on the stage--- the best gift she gave for me for her wedding. Non of her relatives got that privilege. I could be seen in all her pictures I guess. I never got a chance to see her marriage album though.
After the wedding I went back to Tanjore not knowing when I will again get the chance to meet her. In a girl's life , life after wedding is different. Mostly you loose contact with your friends. Life starts revolving around your husband's family and friends. But My Poornima was different . She continued writing me letters. When her first baby Megha was born she sent me her picture. Megha was soooooo cute just like her mom. After two years, my wedding was fixed. I sent my invitation to her. I was not sure whether she would come for my wedding with her small two year old child. She gave me a pleasant surprise by coming with her husband and child. I saw a little maturity in her face as a mom. We took pictures. I still treasure those pictures in my album. I introduced Ravi(my husband) to her and her husband. We couldn't spend much time together . When she left in the evening I didn't know again for the fourth time that I won't be seeing her for many more years to come. Each time we seperated we thought soon we would be seeing each other. We were very optimistic.
I moved with my husband to Singapore. We maintained contact till we were in Singapore. After two years in Singapore we moved to the US. That is when we lost touch with each other. I was too busy with my daughter , and getting used to the new country and its life style -- ofcourse the American accent too.Even English language seemed to be unfamiliar to me when I heard the American English. Life suddenly became too complicated and started revolving around new set of friends. I felt I was far away from all my dear ones. After that there was absolutely no contact between me and Poornima. I always remembered her. I told all my friends about her . I prayed for her everyday and wished inside my heart for her birthday every year. I was engrossed in so many other things in life that even when I went to India I didn't try to write her any letters, though I used to stay there for two months. Do I call this laziness or carelessness or deliberate procrastination?? Priority changes as we grow older isn't it??
Now it has been almost 11 years since I am not in touch with my best friend. Since we moved back to Singapore again I started thinking about her more often.As you get older you wish to relive your childhood days. I am in touch with all my other friends. I felt guilty for not having attempted to contact Poornima. My search began. I started asking all my friends from Kerela whether by any chance they knew my friend. I was never given a positive reply. I lost hope but something kept ticking me inside saying one day I will get in touch with her. I was still searching for her. I became a member in facebook with a hope I will be able to find her. No, it was in vain. My daughter used to say ,"Mama you never allow me to use the face book but how come you seem to be addicted to it these days?" This February on her birthday I was praying to God that atleast this year I should be able to locate her. Out of the blue I got an idea. Instead of searching her name in the facebook why not search her daughter's name. I tried .. I saw two Megha's in that name. I was so happy to know that one girl was from Trissur. When I saw her friend's list I could see that all were teenagers and most of them were from Kerela. If she is Poornima's daughter then she must be in her teenage now. My gut feeling said "just try" . I sent a friend's request to the girl named Megha. I got a reply immediately accepting my friend's request.I sent her a message saying that I was looking for my friend Poornima with whom I had lost touch several years back. I couldn't believe when she told me that she was my Poornima's daughter Megha. I couldn't accept that immediately because I didn't imagine things to take such a smooth turn so soon. Being suspicious a little I asked her to send her family photo. She sent me her grandfather's photo and Poornima's mobile number.Still at the back of my mind I had a doubt "what if this is not my Poornima?" I got the message at around 11am on Sunday the 28th of Feb. Ravi was even more excited than me. You can imagine how much I would have talked about Poornima to him that he was much more interested in getting a reply from Megha. He asked me to contact her immediately. I was in the kitchen --my place of worship --doing the daily chores. I told him I would call her after finishing my work and having a bath. You know why I was postponing to call her? I usually call people when I am doing my household chores. Somehow this lessens the burden of my work. But this phone call I didn't want to make in a hurry. If I talk to her immediately I won't be able to enjoy the thrill of just hoping to talk to her. When we go on a trip the most interesting part is how we plan about it before the travel . You enjoy every moment thinking about it. How the trip is going to be, what are you going to do, how you are going to enjoy etc etc. Like wise I was just enjoying the thrill of making the phone call. Once I call her I knew that it would be a different kind of jubiliant momet. Before that I wanted to experience the thrill of holding on to the moment I was going to make the phone call. Am I not crazy? I finished all my work , had my shower, had my lunch leisurly just thinking about how I would feel when I talked to her and found out that she was My Long Lost Soul. Even when I am typing about those moments my fingers are shivering. Such was my nervousness cum weird feeling.
I called the number and I could hear a lady's voice in the other side of the phone.Here I humbly accept that we have become ladies now . No more the sweet young girls. I asked whether it was Poornima. You know what was the answer I got? "YES I am Poornima , who are you speaking?" I told her it was me Geetha. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! Just laughter, laughter, laughter for few minutes . We both couldn't talk anymore other than just utter each other's name. Hearing my laughter my kids came running asking ,"Is that your friend Poornima aunty?? " We talked about all the bygone days. She told me she has three children. Two daughters and one son. And her son's name was Sai Ganesh. What a co-incidence? My son's name is Rishi Ganesh. Friends though miles apart talk through the heart I think. God is great ! My search was rewarded. And this could happen because of her daughter Megha to whom I owe tons and tons of thankfulness. Now we both are so sure that we will always be intouch with each other till our last breath. If only my age and body co-operated I would have done atleast a few somersaults then because I was at the height of happiness. Nothing in this world is equal to getting back a good old friend.I still and will cherish the moment I got to speak to her on the phone.
Who ever is out there searching for their long lost soul keep searching. You will find them one day because "TRUE FRIENDSHIP IS NEVER ENDING WHERE EVER YOU ARE."
Life was so wonderful till we completed our 8th standard. Both our parents got transferred. I moved to Tanjore and she moved to Trivandrum . We were seperated . At that time we didn't know that we won't be meeting each other after that. We told each other that we will be in contact by writing letters once a week. (Those days we neither had computer to send emails every day nor did we have mobiles. Phone was a luxury then -----these days kids are so lucky they can keep in touch even with their kindergarten friends and mobiles are a must-to-have gadget for them). As promised ,we were in close touch with each other. We used to write letters once a week to each other. From the day I posted my letter I kept waiting for her reply. I remember using postcards, and inland letters. If something very personal then envelopes were used so that no one will know the content inside. Greeting cards for birthdays, deewali, pongal and newyear were a ritual. I used to collect all the cards and letters from her .
Though miles apart we both knew what was going on in each others life. Once I finished my undergraduate I went to Chennai to do my Masters. I stayed in a hostel. Life is a wheel. One day I got a letter from Poornima saying she was visiting Chennai and that she would come to see me. My God!! I just couldn't believe that. I was soooo excited jumping around with the letter in my hand. Then I started thinking how she will be looking because it has been years since we both saw each other. "How will she look in person, Will she recognize me? Will she still like me the way I look now?" because pictures dodge you a lot about the way one looks.So, many questions lined up in my brain. And those days we didn't have digital camera to select the best picture to send to someone. All we could do was just send the picture you had develped from the filmrole.And filmroles were expensive that you have a ration when you take photos-- not hundreds of pictures in different poses as you do now.
I couldn't wait for the day of her arrival.It was a Saturday and no college for me. I got ready early than usual . Dressed up in my best clothes. Wanted to present myself very beautiful infront of her( just an attempt to impress her though I knew about my beauty???) . She came around 11a.m to my hostel. When the security called me to inform that I had a guest I ran to the door to see MY BEST FRIEND. There she was waiting for me with the same branded sweet smile of hers with her hands wide open to hug me. We both hugged each other. I cannot express the happiness I felt that moment. I was flying high in the sky.Thousands of butterflies seemed to fly inside my heart--usually it is the stomach but this time my heart was only fluttering.My heartbeat was hundred times more than the normal. Not even during my exams have I experienced such a rush of blood inside me. She had not changed a lot. She had become quite tall and thin. Her cheeks had a few pimple marks. I too had the same.The only difference was I hadn't grown that much from the time she saw me. I was and I am a shorty till date. No scope of growing hereafter I know. I would be glad if I don't skrink . I wonder how all the complan I drank didn't help me atall . May be if I hadn't drunk that complan I would have been even more shorter. Ok, now let me stop drifting away from my way. Me and Poornima went out that day and had a very nice time. She had come there to attend a function in her relative's house. She invited me for the function which was the next day. I accepted the invitation immediately because I wanted to be just with her those two days. Next day I went to her relative's house. She was waiting for me there. She introduced me to every one in her family. I was feeling a little odd because I was the only outsider in the family . But to make me feel at home she didn't leave me alone for a second . I had a lovely , memorable time. The next day she was to leave. Again I won't be able to see her for how many more years I didnt know.
After I finished my college I went back to Tanjore. Still our letter correspondence contiued. One fine day I got a wedding invitation. Yes it was Poorninma's wedding invitation. She was getting married in Chennai. Wow!! another opportunity for me to see her I thought .More than feeling happy about her wedding I felt happy that I was going to see her. The day of wedding arrived and I was in Chennai to attend it. When I went to the marriage hall my eyes were searching for her. Luckily her sister spotted me and took me to the room where Poornima was. During the whole wedding process I was sitting just behind her on the stage--- the best gift she gave for me for her wedding. Non of her relatives got that privilege. I could be seen in all her pictures I guess. I never got a chance to see her marriage album though.
After the wedding I went back to Tanjore not knowing when I will again get the chance to meet her. In a girl's life , life after wedding is different. Mostly you loose contact with your friends. Life starts revolving around your husband's family and friends. But My Poornima was different . She continued writing me letters. When her first baby Megha was born she sent me her picture. Megha was soooooo cute just like her mom. After two years, my wedding was fixed. I sent my invitation to her. I was not sure whether she would come for my wedding with her small two year old child. She gave me a pleasant surprise by coming with her husband and child. I saw a little maturity in her face as a mom. We took pictures. I still treasure those pictures in my album. I introduced Ravi(my husband) to her and her husband. We couldn't spend much time together . When she left in the evening I didn't know again for the fourth time that I won't be seeing her for many more years to come. Each time we seperated we thought soon we would be seeing each other. We were very optimistic.
I moved with my husband to Singapore. We maintained contact till we were in Singapore. After two years in Singapore we moved to the US. That is when we lost touch with each other. I was too busy with my daughter , and getting used to the new country and its life style -- ofcourse the American accent too.Even English language seemed to be unfamiliar to me when I heard the American English. Life suddenly became too complicated and started revolving around new set of friends. I felt I was far away from all my dear ones. After that there was absolutely no contact between me and Poornima. I always remembered her. I told all my friends about her . I prayed for her everyday and wished inside my heart for her birthday every year. I was engrossed in so many other things in life that even when I went to India I didn't try to write her any letters, though I used to stay there for two months. Do I call this laziness or carelessness or deliberate procrastination?? Priority changes as we grow older isn't it??
Now it has been almost 11 years since I am not in touch with my best friend. Since we moved back to Singapore again I started thinking about her more often.As you get older you wish to relive your childhood days. I am in touch with all my other friends. I felt guilty for not having attempted to contact Poornima. My search began. I started asking all my friends from Kerela whether by any chance they knew my friend. I was never given a positive reply. I lost hope but something kept ticking me inside saying one day I will get in touch with her. I was still searching for her. I became a member in facebook with a hope I will be able to find her. No, it was in vain. My daughter used to say ,"Mama you never allow me to use the face book but how come you seem to be addicted to it these days?" This February on her birthday I was praying to God that atleast this year I should be able to locate her. Out of the blue I got an idea. Instead of searching her name in the facebook why not search her daughter's name. I tried .. I saw two Megha's in that name. I was so happy to know that one girl was from Trissur. When I saw her friend's list I could see that all were teenagers and most of them were from Kerela. If she is Poornima's daughter then she must be in her teenage now. My gut feeling said "just try" . I sent a friend's request to the girl named Megha. I got a reply immediately accepting my friend's request.I sent her a message saying that I was looking for my friend Poornima with whom I had lost touch several years back. I couldn't believe when she told me that she was my Poornima's daughter Megha. I couldn't accept that immediately because I didn't imagine things to take such a smooth turn so soon. Being suspicious a little I asked her to send her family photo. She sent me her grandfather's photo and Poornima's mobile number.Still at the back of my mind I had a doubt "what if this is not my Poornima?" I got the message at around 11am on Sunday the 28th of Feb. Ravi was even more excited than me. You can imagine how much I would have talked about Poornima to him that he was much more interested in getting a reply from Megha. He asked me to contact her immediately. I was in the kitchen --my place of worship --doing the daily chores. I told him I would call her after finishing my work and having a bath. You know why I was postponing to call her? I usually call people when I am doing my household chores. Somehow this lessens the burden of my work. But this phone call I didn't want to make in a hurry. If I talk to her immediately I won't be able to enjoy the thrill of just hoping to talk to her. When we go on a trip the most interesting part is how we plan about it before the travel . You enjoy every moment thinking about it. How the trip is going to be, what are you going to do, how you are going to enjoy etc etc. Like wise I was just enjoying the thrill of making the phone call. Once I call her I knew that it would be a different kind of jubiliant momet. Before that I wanted to experience the thrill of holding on to the moment I was going to make the phone call. Am I not crazy? I finished all my work , had my shower, had my lunch leisurly just thinking about how I would feel when I talked to her and found out that she was My Long Lost Soul. Even when I am typing about those moments my fingers are shivering. Such was my nervousness cum weird feeling.
I called the number and I could hear a lady's voice in the other side of the phone.Here I humbly accept that we have become ladies now . No more the sweet young girls. I asked whether it was Poornima. You know what was the answer I got? "YES I am Poornima , who are you speaking?" I told her it was me Geetha. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! Just laughter, laughter, laughter for few minutes . We both couldn't talk anymore other than just utter each other's name. Hearing my laughter my kids came running asking ,"Is that your friend Poornima aunty?? " We talked about all the bygone days. She told me she has three children. Two daughters and one son. And her son's name was Sai Ganesh. What a co-incidence? My son's name is Rishi Ganesh. Friends though miles apart talk through the heart I think. God is great ! My search was rewarded. And this could happen because of her daughter Megha to whom I owe tons and tons of thankfulness. Now we both are so sure that we will always be intouch with each other till our last breath. If only my age and body co-operated I would have done atleast a few somersaults then because I was at the height of happiness. Nothing in this world is equal to getting back a good old friend.I still and will cherish the moment I got to speak to her on the phone.
Who ever is out there searching for their long lost soul keep searching. You will find them one day because "TRUE FRIENDSHIP IS NEVER ENDING WHERE EVER YOU ARE."
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Made in China Swamijis
Today morning was a shocking one for me when I happened to watch sun news on the TV. The news was about the so called Swami Nithyananda and his immoral behaviour coming to light. (First of all I am totally against the telecast of the obscene scenes on the tv. Certain things should be told in a polished way rather than showing the crude truth. News is something you want your kids also to watch--- thinking they will develop their general knowledge. (These days news is more about swamiji's, actors, actresses, accidents. ) It reminds me of a saying "turn off the television, don't read the newspaper. It is all full of what went wrong yesterday"--Betty Williams.I felt ackward to see the news but couldn't avoid watching it because it was about the so called world known Swamiji.
I know quite a number of people who are ardent followers of him. It must be shocking to them too to hear such a news about their Guruji. He has so many ashrams and followers around the world irrespective of their nationalities(example for globalisation ).This has been his corporate business earning him good returns without any investments.. No wonder he didn't go for IPO!
There is no doubt that his philosophies and discourses are thought provoking. But I believe that anyone who preaches such values to the humanity must also personally follow it . It shouldn't be " Advice for free to everyone other than myself." He does all the possible " vices" on earth and gives good "advice" to others. Many educated people who claim to be in search of their innerselves are his followers. They all are good hearted and they follow every word of his philosophy. In his name they do a lot of charity work and work for the betterment of the society. Now my concern is that, after coming to know about his true self how badly will their beliefs be shattered. U accept a person as your guruji thinking that he is above all other humans in all aspects . There is some super speciality in that person which gives u peace of mind when u totally worship him as a Human God. But does this so called swami deserve such an worship? He has been putting on the mask of a swamiji to accomplish all his needs in life. He preaches about poverty by living in luxury. Why does he need the cloak of a swamiji to live such a disgraceful life??
Don't you think that people who have been his followers will not only loose their faith in him but also question his philosophies too? Hindu religion is the the only religion where we accept whoever claims to be the reincarnation of gods without any hesitation . We accept humans as Gods very easily. We personify them . In all other religions I feel they have strong hold in their Holy books and follow only that. We are so open to all philosophies that we readily worship any human being who says he can heal our worries.For the number of swamijis we have in India and for the number of followers each of them have we should be living in a land of Heaven.
Are we following the philosophies? Most of us just read them or hear them . It is all timely relief we are seeking. In extreme cases in the name becoming a swamiji's follower some go the extent of becoming a "samiyaar " themselves withdrawing themselves from the family and their responsibilities. This I would call "escapism."
How many ever times we learn a hard lesson still we believe in such swamijis. They indulge in all worldy pleasures but their followers give up on all earthly pleasures and go to live in the ashrams . A friend of ours spent three lakhs Rs. to spend a few days with Swami Nithyananda.Till now he was sharing the news happily with everyone about how peaceful he felt while he was in the ashram and how he lived a calm life away from the materialistic world. To attain this peace the price was 3lakhs.While he was enjoying his life in a different way his swamiji was enjoying it in a sophisticated way .Now do you think he will attempt to share the blissful experience with anyone after having come to know about the true color of the cameleon swamiji? Won't everyone make fun of him and his beliefs? This is only the tip of an iceberg.Now, all the swamiji's followers won't even want to admit that they are his followers . Because of his shameful act he has put so many of his true followers under shame and disgrace. They have become target of ridicule and laughter. In any social gathering they will be made fun of for having been the follower of the Swamiji.
Every other day there is a news about fake " Made in China Swamijis.(MCS) . Still there is no end to our ignorance . We can show our anger only by burning his efugee , his ashrams, his books . Do you think anything more can be done? This is the limit for our resentment. At the end he will have a ramp walk after being in hibernation for a few years. And we will forget about him totally because everyday there is one new story to follow and keep us occupied.Intially our reaction is humungous but as days pass by it becomes a trivial matter .You need not be surprsed if he comes again with a new name tag saying he is the rebirth of some God! Again we have ignorant souls to believe in him.Such MCS's use the name of swamiji to carry on with their underworld dealings without suspicion.
First we should believe in ourselves. I don't say not to attend religious or philosophical discourses. They are important to cleanse one's mind and soul. We can attend those but not praise the person who does it and raise him high in a pedestal. It should serve as a guideline for one's religious and philosophical betterment in life. True swamiji's will never look for propaganda. They live a simple life. Undue importance should not be give to MCSs . We should use our common sense and intution while becoming someone's follower instead of blindly following him and becoming a mouthpiece for his popularity.In this way we can avoid the mushrooming of fake swamiji's in our holy land of high ethical and moral values(though day by day we are giving way for other values to take its place----East goes to West and West comes to East!)
Religion is used in our country to make us "like sheep." To save our furture generation from becoming scape goats to such decievers we have to install self confidence and strong religious beliefs in our children from young rather than leave them to be a confused lot later in their life,when they go in search of such false beliefs.Be a true human to yourself and to others. Believe in God and not in human gods.
Have a nice day.
I know quite a number of people who are ardent followers of him. It must be shocking to them too to hear such a news about their Guruji. He has so many ashrams and followers around the world irrespective of their nationalities(example for globalisation ).This has been his corporate business earning him good returns without any investments.. No wonder he didn't go for IPO!
There is no doubt that his philosophies and discourses are thought provoking. But I believe that anyone who preaches such values to the humanity must also personally follow it . It shouldn't be " Advice for free to everyone other than myself." He does all the possible " vices" on earth and gives good "advice" to others. Many educated people who claim to be in search of their innerselves are his followers. They all are good hearted and they follow every word of his philosophy. In his name they do a lot of charity work and work for the betterment of the society. Now my concern is that, after coming to know about his true self how badly will their beliefs be shattered. U accept a person as your guruji thinking that he is above all other humans in all aspects . There is some super speciality in that person which gives u peace of mind when u totally worship him as a Human God. But does this so called swami deserve such an worship? He has been putting on the mask of a swamiji to accomplish all his needs in life. He preaches about poverty by living in luxury. Why does he need the cloak of a swamiji to live such a disgraceful life??
Don't you think that people who have been his followers will not only loose their faith in him but also question his philosophies too? Hindu religion is the the only religion where we accept whoever claims to be the reincarnation of gods without any hesitation . We accept humans as Gods very easily. We personify them . In all other religions I feel they have strong hold in their Holy books and follow only that. We are so open to all philosophies that we readily worship any human being who says he can heal our worries.For the number of swamijis we have in India and for the number of followers each of them have we should be living in a land of Heaven.
Are we following the philosophies? Most of us just read them or hear them . It is all timely relief we are seeking. In extreme cases in the name becoming a swamiji's follower some go the extent of becoming a "samiyaar " themselves withdrawing themselves from the family and their responsibilities. This I would call "escapism."
How many ever times we learn a hard lesson still we believe in such swamijis. They indulge in all worldy pleasures but their followers give up on all earthly pleasures and go to live in the ashrams . A friend of ours spent three lakhs Rs. to spend a few days with Swami Nithyananda.Till now he was sharing the news happily with everyone about how peaceful he felt while he was in the ashram and how he lived a calm life away from the materialistic world. To attain this peace the price was 3lakhs.While he was enjoying his life in a different way his swamiji was enjoying it in a sophisticated way .Now do you think he will attempt to share the blissful experience with anyone after having come to know about the true color of the cameleon swamiji? Won't everyone make fun of him and his beliefs? This is only the tip of an iceberg.Now, all the swamiji's followers won't even want to admit that they are his followers . Because of his shameful act he has put so many of his true followers under shame and disgrace. They have become target of ridicule and laughter. In any social gathering they will be made fun of for having been the follower of the Swamiji.
Every other day there is a news about fake " Made in China Swamijis.(MCS) . Still there is no end to our ignorance . We can show our anger only by burning his efugee , his ashrams, his books . Do you think anything more can be done? This is the limit for our resentment. At the end he will have a ramp walk after being in hibernation for a few years. And we will forget about him totally because everyday there is one new story to follow and keep us occupied.Intially our reaction is humungous but as days pass by it becomes a trivial matter .You need not be surprsed if he comes again with a new name tag saying he is the rebirth of some God! Again we have ignorant souls to believe in him.Such MCS's use the name of swamiji to carry on with their underworld dealings without suspicion.
First we should believe in ourselves. I don't say not to attend religious or philosophical discourses. They are important to cleanse one's mind and soul. We can attend those but not praise the person who does it and raise him high in a pedestal. It should serve as a guideline for one's religious and philosophical betterment in life. True swamiji's will never look for propaganda. They live a simple life. Undue importance should not be give to MCSs . We should use our common sense and intution while becoming someone's follower instead of blindly following him and becoming a mouthpiece for his popularity.In this way we can avoid the mushrooming of fake swamiji's in our holy land of high ethical and moral values(though day by day we are giving way for other values to take its place----East goes to West and West comes to East!)
Religion is used in our country to make us "like sheep." To save our furture generation from becoming scape goats to such decievers we have to install self confidence and strong religious beliefs in our children from young rather than leave them to be a confused lot later in their life,when they go in search of such false beliefs.Be a true human to yourself and to others. Believe in God and not in human gods.
Have a nice day.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)