I always imagine being the queen of the house I am as busy as a queen bee. But in reality am I sooo busy ? If I can read the buzzing of the queen bee I will know whether it complains like me about the work it does? Most of the time I try to self pamper myself saying, I do a lot of work , no rest,no recognition for my work, blah blah blah. I seek attention from my family saying I do so many things non-stop from morning to evening for them and that no one shares my work. Isn't this position of a queen chosen voluntarily by me??
I wanted to be the home-maker though I proclaim I did all the sacrifice for my family. It was a self chosen path . I chose this path so that I can take care of my children in a better way. Then why should I crib? I complain about being the first person to get up in the morning and about going to bed last. Does anybody thrust this on me? Absolutely not. It is my moral responsibility right ? I have chosen my home to be my office.I knew pretty well I won't be able to balance between outside office and my own home office. I am the boss of my office . Then why should I complain about every move I make? Is it because I am not getting paid for my service? If I get paid won't I loose my title of being the queen of the house? I never appreciate my husband who let me stay at home because I can't handle too much stress if I happen to work in an office. Instead I complain that I was made to sacrifice my career for the family.
I feel every task I do right from cooking, cleaning, packing lunch, washing, doing laundry , taking care of the kids, teaching them, buying groceries, is like moving a big mountain everyday. Why don't I see it in an different angle? I am doing all this for my dear and loved ones in this whole world. I have to do justice to the role I am playing as a mom and as a wife. For example, instead of saying in one single sentence that I made chapathi for dinner if I go beating around the bush saying, I opened the box with flour, then took a bowl, took some flour, added water, added salt then kneaded till my hand hurt and made chapathi, it makes a simple task seem more complicated .It is just one job accomplished. I try to explain it as a long process so that I get pitied and recognized for the hard work--- which I presume to be.
My husband doesn't tell me ,"I have so much work in the office , why don't you share?" My children don't say"Amma can you share our school homework?" They all do their own job but I am the one who expects that all in the family should share my load of work. But in a more sophisticated way I call it , teaching my kids to be independent and considerate and that my husband should take part in family activities so that he will be a role model to the kids. Isn't "Selfishness" a better word to call this attitude?
Just like they have their own office and school ,I have my beautiful house as my office . I get an extra privilege of hiring someone to help me even. But most of the time I don't realize this privilege.The best part in my office is, no one questions me the way I do my things. The house is in the way I want it to be. I decide where what has to be and how it has to be. I make others follow that . I am not answerable to anyone ---still I complain about my position---ridiculous isn't it? Is this becos of attention seeking after being in the house alone for a long time or is it making a mountain out of a molehill? An idle mind is a devil's workshop. Let me try to see things in a positive way hereafter. Home is where your heart is. Wherever you go you want to feel At Home. To make it a garden of roses is in my hand. I saw a business card printed by one of my friends, where it says,
CEO of the X family.
I was totally fascinated by the novelty in the card .I could see the self respect my friend has for herself and how she values her role as a home maker and how she enjoys doing it. I appreciate her way of interpreting her role as a home maker.
Hats Off to all the CEO's of several such families!!!!! Lets all try to make rose gardens. Less complaints and more happiness.
P.O After reading this my daughter came up to me and told " mama atlast u understood wat ur role is in our house. hope u won't bother us anymore." Wat do think my answer wud have been?? I told her"Look , all this I wrote to make others feel good and it is only on the paper ( now computer though)
Watever said and done i still go by my notion that i do a lot of work in this house." Till now wat was" My House" became "This House".Typical Mom Ego.
My MOM EGO didnt let me admit wat i really felt inside, how i wanted to see things in a different perspective. Hope time will wash away my mom ego and help me make a rose garden.
C u next week with a new note to ponder over!!